15 MARRIED WOMEN WANTS YOU TO KNOW… What they would have done differently if they had another opportunity for a second wedding.

Wedding is a onetime event as God ordained it and I must tell you, it will really be wise for any single out there who intends to get married to learn from those who have been there.

In the various accounts you are about to read, they are from married women who shared with me what they would have done differently.

At the end of these accounts, I’d do a summary of some things that either kept occurring or nuggets you might have not noticed while reading. Feel free to let me see more lessons!

As a single, please keep this piece of information handy and do share with as many people as you can.

Is there really anything like a perfect wedding where everything you want turns out 100% perfect? 

 Well I can’t say because mine was not 100% as I wanted it!

Before I forget, my wedding cake broke that morning but was patched together without even me taking notice of it. I was only told after the wedding!

IRETI

1.  I would have gotten a wedding planner . I did my shopping myself and it was stressful.   

  

2. I married an Edo man. I personal think after my dowry is paid I should have dressed in their attire instead of Iro and buba.

3. I would get a caterer ! This is because it almost affected my demeanor at the reception when I noticed that my family didn't have food for my colleagues. 

4.My wedding gown was a gift, If I had a choice and enough money I would have bought my choice though I sincerely appreciate the gift.



B
I only have one regret on my wedding. I should have made it smaller and probably invited less people and invested more in our honey moon and other business ventures.

TOKUNBO
1. I had my wedding in the town where I grew up 'ado ekiti' , so most of my friends couldn't attend  due to distance , fuel scarcity , political tensions and all .Being a people person , I'd have done something smaller in the town where I had lived for a couple of years (Lagos )
2. My cake was soooo wack . We couldn't put up pictures (yeah, that bad ), it was done by mum's friend's daughter,(that's a no - no) in my books , that lesson was learnt from my wedding day.

3. We had loads of gifts  to pack and travel with, so honeymoon was delayed. If I had to re-do my wedding, I'd take off for my honeymoon, we'll pick goods later( truth was we didn't need them quite urgently )

4. I now run a bridal shop( which was an inspiration from my shopping for my wedding dress, if I had a replay of my wedding day , I'd definitely have a stunning reception dress.

5. Hubby's folks came traditionally late a day to (engagement day) , my argument was this happens : like I said den and still insist now , there shld be a plan b and c or even d ( maybe a chatered plain salon car that can bring just groom and his dad and mum leaving the extra people.

6. I would have included table and chair covers in my decorations.

7. I'd have generally stressed myself lesser and insisted my parents also didn't stress themselves too. You won't believe the whooping sum that went into refurbishing the house!

8. We had no provision for photo lights: so when the event stretched into the night, the pictures came out a little dark .


9. Knowing more knowledgeable about financial mastery now, I probably could have created an escrow account with proceeds from our gifts that could have started yielding seriously : but we just had to sort out expenses.


D

My wedding was lowed keyed. Hhhhhhhmmmmm.I took alot of people on aware
Basically because my man doesn't reside in Nigeria

My visa wasn't out before the marriage so to avoid unnecessary speculations and fear, my inlaw's and family members insisted on low key for my own good.

The registry was only intimate family member and d tradition was for all but not asundry. There was no Aso Ebi and it was strictly by invitation.

Left to me, I would have prefered something bigger and lousier, all the same, no regret just apologies to some friends and colleague.



E

1. I would have loved to pick my venue myself but was done by my hubby’s big sister even though hubby paid for it.

2. I would have loved to pick my theme and  wedding Aso Ebi but was done by both families representative (although they took the colours I wanted)

3. I would have loved to use my own event planner to get my desired wedding arrangement, but hubby’s  sister is an event planner, caterer and fashion designer .

In all, I and hubby's plan was changed by our event planner and it had us spending much. It was an eventful occassion but not just the way I wanted.


TEMI

1. I will not have as many guests as I did.  i.e I would prefer a less crowded gathering.

2. I will have a bridal train for the ceremony.

3.  By having fewer guests, I will save more money.

4. I will make sure the Photography boss herself is there all through and not her subordinates. 

5. All through the ceremony, I will make sure NO ONE gets me angry no matter what happens.


ANONYMOUS

1. I would have insisted on a low key wedding irrespective of my parent's wanting it big, being the 1st child.

2. I would have insisted on mainly Christian songs during the reception. That's what I really wanted but friends kept saying it's not everybody that understands my language and that it would be dry. I still regret that till this day. Mostly because my kind of music is Christian & a few decent & reasonable secular ones.



F

If I am to do my wedding again, I will do a white wedding, dressed in my beautiful wedding gown with a long bridal train and walking down the aisle with my hubby to the altar.

I did a pink wedding, had my traditional wedding  and went to the registry

And of course I won't do my wedding with puffy face,swollen nose and a  protruding belly.



MAYOWA

1. I would have loved to do a low key wedding ceremony with 20 as the maximum number of guests.

2. Employ the service of a professional and excellent photographer.

3.Give a honourarium of 30,000 naira each to all officiating ministers.



G

My O My...

I. I would have employed the services of a tested professional make up artist and “gele” tier. My makeup and gele was "Zero" and I just discovered that morning the person didn't know how to tie gele and because I don't too, I just seemingly wrapped it round my head almost like a scarf. On my wedding day!
Always wish I could do another make up, gele and take a grand picture. But I believe I've gotten over that now.


2. I would have wanted to see exactly how my wedding decoration would be on that day and not rely on the wow recommendation of anybody.

Despite our explanations, our reception rug and chair was "Zero" for I and Hubby. We wanted and paid for something far better.


3. I would not have allowed myself to be upset with Hubby on that day! (Was really naughty that night)


4. Would have planned a more grand, detailed and eventful honeymoon.


5. Would have employed the services of a more professional video coverage and not just relied on recommendation.

Don't have a wedding video now!

6. Would have loved better pictures. Pictures were not striking and exceptional!


Things that paid off.

1. No extravagant expenses.
2. Cancelled Aso Ebi to cut off d stress.
3. Didn't have a liitle bride or page boy but with just 4 bride maids (perfect for me)



H

To the Glory of God, I had a very wonderful wedding event about 3 years ago as my husband and I had started planning for it about a year before the set date. We both had an awesome time together in the midst of our family & friends on the two days of the event (Traditional Wedding& Church Solemnization).

Howbeit, if I have an opportunity to hold my wedding again, I would wish to change the following things about the one in a life time event.

1.  I would opt for a Boob tube top wedding dress, with a bolero, which I have always wanted to be dressed in on my wedding day, instead of the halter neck dress I got. Though the dress was lovely, I wouldn't have used any necklace with it.

2.  I would plan the wedding such that I would have an opportunity to take at least two weeks leave from work, for my honey moon at a choiced location, as I wasn't confirmed at my employment when I got married and was therefore allowed only 5 days leave for the event & my husband too travelled back to Manchester a few days after our wedding. So, I really don't know what honey moon is all about. I bet I'll have one by my 5th wedding anniversary, by God's grace. Lol!

3.  I would engage a better wedding cake maker to bake both my traditional and wedding reception cakes, as those I engaged didn't deliver to standard. Lol!



OLUMISI

The wedding ceremony in Nigeria is one eagerly awaited by both the individuals involved and their parents. Mine was no different. It had all the usually trappings, wedding dress, lovely hall, cake, pictures and all and I really had a wonderful day.

However, If I could do it all over again hmmmm. I definitely would do it very differently. I have looked back severally and wondered at the return on investment (ROI) for the money spent that day.

I

My wedding was really small and low keyed so there's not much I would change.

1. My only change or issues were personal I think as in to my ceremony eg. Reception was at a restaurant..we had ordered more than enough drinks but didn’t hammer on the person to supervise so at the end of the day, people ordered all sorts of cocktails we didnt plan for so we had a debt of 200,000 naira  unplanned for.

2. The music was too low which was a technical issue by the restaurant.

It was a small gathering (60 guests), very personal (so I knew everyone there) and most of all the focus was on us and our love, not the hulabaloo of the day..like most weddings..so those I wouldn't change.




ANONYMOUS

Would like to have a quiet wedding . Not more than 50 people


J

1.      Well, I wished I didn’t spend too much money like we did.  I could have helped hubby save more money because we had to celebrate in two locations just to please my two seperated parents.

2.       I would have also saved more money from the preparation of  the wedding than using it all for the wedding celebration.

3. Wished I also supported my hubby more, than giving him all the burden which I believe wouldn’t have been like that if I had started working before the wedding.

3.  I also wished would not do the Aso Ebi because most people collected cloths without payments.

 

IN CONCLUSION…

·         Take time to invest in your honeymoon and having a considerable period to spend alone together in choice places. (Most times, children come in 9 months after) and I tell you, it’s a different ball game.

·         If you have to use a photographer or someone to cover the event, a makeup artist, cake decorator, e.t.c. Make sure you don’t rely on referrals alone. Probably do a rehearsal where possible and be double sure of what they can offer before the day.

·         Don’t give people things to do based on sentiments. Are they really good on their job?

·         Don’t spend beyond what you can readily afford. In fact, your wedding expenses should leave you with more money in your pocket because a wedding is just for one day. You’d definitely have other important expenses to make as a couple.

·   

      A crowded wedding does not guarantee a good marriage! Keep the number of guests as minimal as possible.

Be in charge of your emotions. Nothing or no one should be strong enough to upset you.

Finally don’t trade a good dress, make up, pictures, video coverage, good food and organization for anything.

May your wedding be more beautiful than mine!

NOTE: Do you have a personal experience or that of someone you know and it will be an addition for any single out there? Please do well to drop your comments.

God bless you and keep staying in love.

Bukola.